Grace for the Moment

Everyone at the hospital had an interest in Mackenzie. Everyone was excited! Everyone knew we were there, and what we were there for. When you work in a health care setting, you realize that no matter what the government says, a patients right to privacy (as outlined in HIPPA) doesn't apply to patients who work at your facility. We knew that we could be all hush hush and secretive, and keep everyone on pins and needles, but these people were friends, and coworkers who had supported us and worked with us. Some of them were from our church, and had prayed for us, and ministered to us. We couldn't keep them in the dark. These were people we loved.

So they knew every time I left the suite. Whether I was running home quick to feed the animals, or heading for the vending machine to get a soft drink, everyone I encountered that day wanted to know, "Is she here yet? How is she? Keep me posted!"
It's as close to celebrity as I will ever be, and it's nice. That is, it was nice. Right up until I had news to share.

I was walking back to our suite with the Merck Manual in my hand, still numb and in shock from what I had just learned about my new baby girl's prognosis, when I was approached by coworkers from an ancillary department who greeted me with excited smiles wanting to know if the baby had arrived, what was the gender, how much did she weigh, and wasn't this soooo exciting.

I paused, for what to me seemed like a very long time, as I tried to digest what I had just learned. I prayed for an answer. I considered how I should answer, I considered pretending I didn't hear or see them, I considered how it was supposed to be, with pink bubblegum cigars, and congratulations, and from somewhere outside of me I suddenly heard my voice answering them. "Yes, Mackenzie is here, she's a little girl, and very tiny, three pounds seven ounces, and yes, it is exciting, and please, could you keep her in your prayers?"

That was the rest of my day. God gave me enough grace to get through that day, it was, at that time, the happiest, and the saddest day of my life.He knew what I needed He knew how much, and He knew when. Just enough grace, at just the right moment.